


How to make a man harmless

by Katerunaway



Category: Il buono il brutto il cattivo | The Good The Bad and The Ugly (1966)
Genre: Blondie POV, Character Study, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, SHITHEADS IN LOVE, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:08:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27961313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katerunaway/pseuds/Katerunaway
Summary: “We are all alone in the world, Blondie - I have you, you have me. Only for a little while, I mean”. It had started that way maybe - when they had taken their guard down with that terrible misjudgement.
Relationships: "Blondie" | The Man with No Name/Tuco Ramirez
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	How to make a man harmless

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [On the long-term effects of half-smoked cigars; or, To make a man unkillable](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27861358) by [DanseDan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanseDan/pseuds/DanseDan). 



> I couldn’t help but take a wild guess at Blondie’s feelings after reading Dansedan’s work “On the long term effects of half-smoked cigars; or how to make a man unkillable”. So that’s it.

He couldn’t really pinpoint the time nor the place that it had started. But he could remember the exact moment when he had known, when the truth had been exposed.

He had been the one to go looking for him.  
He could not help doing that. A distant shot was enough to know who it was. No wonder, he knew him very well. It was unusual though to feel that pull - that compulsion to come away. Out of instinct, all of sudden, he’d get up and be off. Like it was nothing. As if he had heard his voice call for him. He remembered vaguely some verse about winter being past and the seasons of rain being over and gone. It was perfect timing, yes. The thought of him had occupied his mind all that time, he realized. He had clung onto that thought like a starving man onto the last crumble of bread. And as he stood there blabbering and nervously stroking a bedpost, he had felt more naked than him, realizing it was not Tuco who needed him at that moment - not at least in the sense that he needed any help - he was alive and safe and able to provide for himself. Hell, he was there because he needed Tuco.  
He had crossed that damned town risking to be captured and brought back or to be hit by a grenade - just to see him - to know that he was still alive.  
And damn he couldn’t help but linger to look at him, despite knowing they were being aimed at from the rooftops, from the streets.

How stupid, how illogic, how delightful.

How completely unlike himself.

He should have known that taking up that habit of sharing cigars was not at all that innocent - it was not pity, nor just kindness. That was everything he had - besides himself - and he would give it to him.  
He should have realized the weight behind it, it was not like him not to be able to look him in the eyes as he held out those cigar butts, hiding himself for a moment, as if Tuco could read in his eyes the truth he had not yet admitted to himself.

Although he was not able to remember the exact moment it had started - it must have been slow and quiet like ice melting in spring - at least he remembered how he had felt drawn to him at the beginning - why would he want so bad to be in the company of someone who had hurt him so bad, who had tried to kill him?  
As Tuco talked to him on the bed in that monastery, and even more as he saw him punching his brother, he understood that deep down they were the same - they were both selfish, they scrambled to survive by fucking other people over. Both proud and fiercely attached to their own independence. Both lonely. Like Tuco had said. They were all alone in the world but at least they had each other - “only for a little while”. It had started that way maybe - when they had taken their guard down with that terrible misjudgement.

(And then of course there were fingers on his lips and a body next to his and his mouth and hands over him but he didn’t really want to think about it that much, even as he tried to find ways to brush fingers when passing the stubs)

And now this was the way it was going to end - with him helpless, overwhelmed, finally understanding why they said it was “terrible as an army with banners” - it, he had just opened the door of his consciousness to the concept, was love, and the first thing he’d learned about it was that it was terrifying, and beautiful, and there was nowhere to hide from it.  
So had Tuco Ramirez made him harmless three times - and one he hadn’t needed a gun.

And had made him reckless, and stupid. He had to sit with that and admit he had to do something about it soon if he didn’t want the utter lack of control he had on himself get to his head and make their death sure and quick.  
First thing he had to acknowledge was that he had to add one need to his usual set - to eat, drink, sleep and know that Tuco was alive.

He started to devise a plan to make sure they would both get out of this. It kept him occupied, strategy was his thing, he could rely on it. It kept his thoughts away from Tuco being by his side all the time - although when Tuco casually touched him, let his hand grip his wrist a little longer than normal, he almost dropped his facade and had to hastily slip out of his touch.

And if that terror of surrendering himself came with an equal amount of the contrary - the impulse to hand himself over to that gentle and strong touch - then for one last time he would have left to Tuco the task to decide whether they had to face it or forget it. He would wash his hands off it. 

The man who had risked it all, who faced death everyday, the man who had been betrayed multiple times and still stood tall in front of him, about to take his chances against two men with an empty gun - that man was shameless and let everything touch his heart.

Whereas he needed to guard his heart with walls and shields and bullets and harsh words because it was as frail as glass

(Oh to know a gentle and strong touch over glass)

He finally let him know - let him read in his eyes, unguarded for a moment, the trust and the devotion and the need that he, Tuco Ramirez, had caused, against which he was helpless.  
Before riding away, knowing that when Tuco would decide, he would have been ready to either surrender or fight.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. The verse Blondie refers to is from the Song of Songs:  
> “ My beloved spoke and said to me  
> “Arise, my darling,  
> my beautiful one, come with me.  
> See! The winter is past;  
> the rains are over and gone”  
> 2\. “Terrible as an army with banners” is also a reference to the Song of Songs.


End file.
